When my confidence went AWOL

This week I lost my confidence.

If you follow my Instagram stories, you’ll already know this and I thank you so much for your kind words and messages.

I wanted to share this with you because I know that my account is full of positivity – because that is me 95% of the time. My relentlessly positive mindset is what has got me through the past year relatively unscathed. Nevertheless, the other day I turned on myself and I thought it would be good for you to see that I’m human after all!

It crept up on me very slowly during the day. I’d been putting off a task for the last few months because there was a very high chance of rejection, coupled with a very low chance of success, but I decided that I couldn’t put it off any longer and so, with that tiniest glimmer of hope, I put myself out there and on a course for a new wave of rejection anyway!

Rejection is a massive part of my job. I’m used to it. It’s like water off a duck’s back but for some reason this felt different and I was scared.

To say that the past year, like for many others, has not been the greatest of years for me work wise is a bit of an understatement! At times, it’s fair to say that my confidence has taken a few knocks and it’s made me question if I’m any good at what I’m doing after all.

And once that negative voice took over the other day, well it was game over!

But then came another day and I had a chance to change my attitude, and I did, and even when the first rejection email came though, it didn’t actually hurt at all, so there was no need to fear it after all!!

So yep, my fragile ego has taken a bit of a battering during Covidtimes but I’ll keep putting my dented, titanium coated positive pants on and keep showing up. Compared to many, in the last year, I’m still one of the lucky ones and for that I’m truly grateful.

Going grey?

‘So how come you are so pro-ageing yet you dye your hair?’ said one woman in my messages this week?

Well, as Billie repeatedly sang back in 1998, ‘because we want to!’

Maybe this lady and I have differing ideas of what positive ageing means, but for me, the most important aspect of a positive ageing experience, is letting go of judgment and other’s expectations and opinions of how you ‘should’ look, what you ‘should’ be doing and who you’re doing it with.

Therefore, if I want to dye my hair because it makes me feel better about the way I look, then where’s the problem? Am I dyeing it because society tells me that I have to? No. Am I dyeing it to look younger? No. I dye it because simply, I prefer the way I look with blonde hair when I look in the mirror.

Lockdown 1 and 3 have shown me that I am definitely not ready to embrace my badger roots and maybe I never will be? My nan dyed her hair until her 80s and my mom, who is in her late 70s, has only now, used the past year to grow out her blonde to beautiful white locks.

I follow so many #silversisters on Instagram. I love how empowered they are and I’m fascinated by women of all ages and the different ways that they choose to transition to their natural hair. I love that they’re saying ‘up yours’ to outdated views and stereotypical opinions and making their own choice. In some cases it’s giving them a confidence that they’ve never had before and changing their fashion choices. ‘Because they want to!’

There’s lies the crux of the matter. Age how you want to!

The first rule of positive ageing is to do it in your way. The way that makes you feel your best self. Not what anyone else thinks you should be doing. Especially not that person in your DMs!

Beauty that comes with age

Today I am more than happy to add my voice to @studio10makeup’s movement to change the negative narrative on ageing. It’s something that many of you know that I’m already passionate about. 

We grow up in a society where ageing is something to dread and then endure. No one ever seems to share or focus on all the positive and wonderful things that come with age. And the ageing role models that we have available to us in the media can be counted on two hands. 

It’s one of the main reasons that I love my Insta community as much as I do. It’s such a positive place to hang out. We are absolutely challenging society’s stereotypes of what we should look like and what we should be doing. 

And yes, there is some shit stuff that happens too but we’re open and we’re talking about it. We’re learning all the time, we’re changing and adapting and I’m definitely laughing in the face of some of the crap, because it’s what I do! 

I’ve also posted a little video (on the Instagram post) that I made back in 2019 when I was already sick to death of being the target and focus of a barrage of ‘anti ageing’ and ‘recapture your youth’ advertising. (Newsflash: there are no age defying miracles and I’m more youthful now than I ever was in my 20s!) I have absolutely nothing against young people, (I made one of my own!) I just don’t want to see them modelling clothes and products aimed at me. (If you can be bothered to go & find it, I even wrote a blog post about it back in 2016!!!! Have things changed much since then? Yes, but not significantly) 

So if you feel passionately about this message too then please get posting. 
All the background info is on Grace’s @studio10makeup profile. 

Trends on repeat

How do you feel when a trend that you’ve already worn and lived through is back again, possibly even for the third or fourth time?! 🙈

Frankly I can’t bloody believe that I am going to be seen in a tank top AGAIN, especially with the bottom of my shirt poking out!

There are certain fashions that I never thought I’d see again and tank tops are definitely one of them. Yet here I am!

One fashion trend that does appear (thankfully) to have been left in the 80s are checked jeans. See me sporting those babies back in the day! Because fashionistas, even if you start wearing them in these squares, there’s absolutely no way that I am going back to that. No! No way! Never!

What fashion trend do you vow never to go back to?