This week I lost my confidence.
If you follow my Instagram stories, you’ll already know this and I thank you so much for your kind words and messages.
I wanted to share this with you because I know that my account is full of positivity – because that is me 95% of the time. My relentlessly positive mindset is what has got me through the past year relatively unscathed. Nevertheless, the other day I turned on myself and I thought it would be good for you to see that I’m human after all!
It crept up on me very slowly during the day. I’d been putting off a task for the last few months because there was a very high chance of rejection, coupled with a very low chance of success, but I decided that I couldn’t put it off any longer and so, with that tiniest glimmer of hope, I put myself out there and on a course for a new wave of rejection anyway!
Rejection is a massive part of my job. I’m used to it. It’s like water off a duck’s back but for some reason this felt different and I was scared.
To say that the past year, like for many others, has not been the greatest of years for me work wise is a bit of an understatement! At times, it’s fair to say that my confidence has taken a few knocks and it’s made me question if I’m any good at what I’m doing after all.
And once that negative voice took over the other day, well it was game over!
But then came another day and I had a chance to change my attitude, and I did, and even when the first rejection email came though, it didn’t actually hurt at all, so there was no need to fear it after all!!
So yep, my fragile ego has taken a bit of a battering during Covidtimes but I’ll keep putting my dented, titanium coated positive pants on and keep showing up. Compared to many, in the last year, I’m still one of the lucky ones and for that I’m truly grateful.