I often talk about positive ageing but I have had a few comments about what it actually means. So this is what it means to me.
I think that these work for everyone, whatever your age. I know that my worst phase of ageing was my late 20s heading towards 30. I absolutely dreaded it and had a bit of a ‘midlife’ crisis!
For me personally, it’s mainly about having a positive mindset as much as possible (Remember – having a positive attitude can add another seven years onto your life!) and taking control of the areas of my health and wellbeing that I can actually influence.
However, I’m sure that positive ageing means different things to each of us so I’d love to hear what it means to you in the comments below. I look forward to learning more!
Well it seems like it has been 18 months since my last ‘getting to know me’ post so I thought that it might be about time for another!
I don’t want to repeat myself, so I’ll post the last two from 2019 to my ‘hello’ highlight on Instagram if you want to find out more useless stuff about me!
1. I can tap dance. My favourite step is a quadruple time step! 2. I can’t sing but I love to do it so much. Loudly and badly. But I can’t tell you how I’d love to be able to do it so that it didn’t make ears bleed! Magic wand please! 3. If I had to live in a totally dark world or a totally silent world, I would choose a dark world as I could not live without music. 4. Food is one of my greatest joys in life. 5. Change your thoughts and you’ll change your world is a quote that I live by. 6. I’m not a fan of small talk but love anyone who gets real and open. 7. I’m a water baby. I love being in it, next to it or on it. 8. I don’t like coffee but still ‘go for a coffee!’ 9. I have a weird fascination with wind turbines. 10. Quite often I prefer dogs and plants over humans but when I find wonderful human beings, I think that they are bloody awesome. Luckily for me, I’ve even found some beautiful souls on here! 😘
So there you go! Learnt anything new? Any mutual feelings there?
Happy weeks ahead. Hope the sun keeps shining for you.
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I was 45 years old before I started to learn about the peri menopause. Shocking! Two years later, I’m starting to question how this is even possible? How can something that affects us all not be talked about or properly understood, even by the women that are about to enter this period of their lives? I honestly thought the menopause was just a time of hot flushes and grumpiness with some women hotter and more grumpy than others! 🙈 If it wasn’t for my community on Instagram, I wouldn’t know that there are at least 34 symptoms, that it affects us all very differently and starts, (and comes and goes) at different times, but how I wish that I’d known more about it earlier in my life so that when things started happening, I didn’t question my sanity! I’m talking about this today, because while it may make some of you feel uncomfortable, it may make others feel so much better. Understanding this time in life is key for all of us. We all know, live or work with someone going through this! One of the uncertain things that I faced is when to speak to someone about my experiences. When is the best time to get professional help? My husband said that I was too young. I’d heard too many unsympathetic stories about GP visits and I wasn’t sure what to do. Fortunately, @healthandherltd offered me an online appointment with one of their specialist GPs. I had a 30 minute session where we discussed everything that has been going on over the last couple of years and she made some recommendations for me going forwards. It was a very reassuring half hour. If you are interested in finding out more about your symptoms or have your questions and concerns answered then I would recommend booking an appointment via their website. They will provide you with prescription recommendations if necessary and notes for your own GP. Also, remember that @marvellousmidlife and I chatted about much of this during our #midlifeglowupchat so go to my IGTV to have a listen. Any questions, let me know below! 💕
If you follow my Instagram stories, you’ll already know this and I thank you so much for your kind words and messages.
I wanted to share this with you because I know that my account is full of positivity – because that is me 95% of the time. My relentlessly positive mindset is what has got me through the past year relatively unscathed. Nevertheless, the other day I turned on myself and I thought it would be good for you to see that I’m human after all!
It crept up on me very slowly during the day. I’d been putting off a task for the last few months because there was a very high chance of rejection, coupled with a very low chance of success, but I decided that I couldn’t put it off any longer and so, with that tiniest glimmer of hope, I put myself out there and on a course for a new wave of rejection anyway!
Rejection is a massive part of my job. I’m used to it. It’s like water off a duck’s back but for some reason this felt different and I was scared.
To say that the past year, like for many others, has not been the greatest of years for me work wise is a bit of an understatement! At times, it’s fair to say that my confidence has taken a few knocks and it’s made me question if I’m any good at what I’m doing after all.
And once that negative voice took over the other day, well it was game over!
But then came another day and I had a chance to change my attitude, and I did, and even when the first rejection email came though, it didn’t actually hurt at all, so there was no need to fear it after all!!
So yep, my fragile ego has taken a bit of a battering during Covidtimes but I’ll keep putting my dented, titanium coated positive pants on and keep showing up. Compared to many, in the last year, I’m still one of the lucky ones and for that I’m truly grateful.
‘So how come you are so pro-ageing yet you dye your hair?’ said one woman in my messages this week?
Well, as Billie repeatedly sang back in 1998, ‘because we want to!’
Maybe this lady and I have differing ideas of what positive ageing means, but for me, the most important aspect of a positive ageing experience, is letting go of judgment and other’s expectations and opinions of how you ‘should’ look, what you ‘should’ be doing and who you’re doing it with.
Therefore, if I want to dye my hair because it makes me feel better about the way I look, then where’s the problem? Am I dyeing it because society tells me that I have to? No. Am I dyeing it to look younger? No. I dye it because simply, I prefer the way I look with blonde hair when I look in the mirror.
Lockdown 1 and 3 have shown me that I am definitely not ready to embrace my badger roots and maybe I never will be? My nan dyed her hair until her 80s and my mom, who is in her late 70s, has only now, used the past year to grow out her blonde to beautiful white locks.
I follow so many #silversisters on Instagram. I love how empowered they are and I’m fascinated by women of all ages and the different ways that they choose to transition to their natural hair. I love that they’re saying ‘up yours’ to outdated views and stereotypical opinions and making their own choice. In some cases it’s giving them a confidence that they’ve never had before and changing their fashion choices. ‘Because they want to!’
There’s lies the crux of the matter. Age how you want to!
The first rule of positive ageing is to do it in your way. The way that makes you feel your best self. Not what anyone else thinks you should be doing. Especially not that person in your DMs!
Today I am more than happy to add my voice to @studio10makeup’s movement to change the negative narrative on ageing. It’s something that many of you know that I’m already passionate about.
We grow up in a society where ageing is something to dread and then endure. No one ever seems to share or focus on all the positive and wonderful things that come with age. And the ageing role models that we have available to us in the media can be counted on two hands.
It’s one of the main reasons that I love my Insta community as much as I do. It’s such a positive place to hang out. We are absolutely challenging society’s stereotypes of what we should look like and what we should be doing.
And yes, there is some shit stuff that happens too but we’re open and we’re talking about it. We’re learning all the time, we’re changing and adapting and I’m definitely laughing in the face of some of the crap, because it’s what I do!
I’ve also posted a little video (on the Instagram post) that I made back in 2019 when I was already sick to death of being the target and focus of a barrage of ‘anti ageing’ and ‘recapture your youth’ advertising. (Newsflash: there are no age defying miracles and I’m more youthful now than I ever was in my 20s!) I have absolutely nothing against young people, (I made one of my own!) I just don’t want to see them modelling clothes and products aimed at me. (If you can be bothered to go & find it, I even wrote a blog post about it back in 2016!!!! Have things changed much since then? Yes, but not significantly)
So if you feel passionately about this message too then please get posting. All the background info is on Grace’s @studio10makeup profile.
How do you feel when a trend that you’ve already worn and lived through is back again, possibly even for the third or fourth time?! 🙈
Frankly I can’t bloody believe that I am going to be seen in a tank top AGAIN, especially with the bottom of my shirt poking out!
There are certain fashions that I never thought I’d see again and tank tops are definitely one of them. Yet here I am!
One fashion trend that does appear (thankfully) to have been left in the 80s are checked jeans. See me sporting those babies back in the day! Because fashionistas, even if you start wearing them in these squares, there’s absolutely no way that I am going back to that. No! No way! Never!
What fashion trend do you vow never to go back to?
As I have mentioned in a previous post, I bloody love music. It has the power to lift me up or give me comfort. It makes me dance. It makes me cry. It makes me feel stuff. It’s amazing and I’m forever in awe of those with the talent to create it.
However, what has always pissed me off are those people who believe that they are somehow superior to others because of their taste in music. I’m lucky, I grew up in a house full of music and wide ranging music styles. Some days my dad would be playing Glen Campbell or War of the Worlds and on others, my mom would be playing her Boogie Nights mix tape. I did my GCSE coursework to the tunes of the 60s and me and my childhood friends made up dances to everything from Buddy Holly to Bucks Fizz.
By university I’d learnt that it wasn’t cool to admit to liking pretty much anything but 90s indie, preferably from Manchester, and for years I felt like I had to hide about 75% of what I loved.
Then I properly grew up and realised that I don’t care if I’m cool all the time. Music is so subjective. It’s personal. It’s an emotional thing. It’s what touches us and sounds good to our own ears. It is a time or a place. It is a loved one or a fleeting moment.
So for that very reason, no one can be better than anyone else because of the music that appeals to their ears and no one should be able to make you feel bad for liking what you like.
What’s more, there can be no such thing as a guilty pleasure when it comes to songs because – if it makes you happy then there should be no guilt!
Anyone remember the heavy blue and green eye shadow from the 80s? And then do you remember those ladies who carried on the trend way after it was considered flattering? Now, I’m not a massive follower of trends so if it makes you feel good, crack on! However I do think that getting stuck in a rut and doing what we’ve always done with the products we’ve always used can be a bit ageing. Products change so fast and many brands are now created with ageing skins in mind (@studio10makeup I’m thinking of you! 😍) They are so much more flattering than something that we may have loved in the past. With that in mind, I invited Sian @flicks_and_red_lips from @so_coco_rouge to one of my #midlifeglowup chats which was full of top tips and advice. If you haven’t had chance to watch yet, go to my IGTV and give it a save now! This week I caught up with Sian again and as it was half term I invited my (mainly) teacher friends, and my daughter, along for a virtual makeup lesson. I haven’t seen them all in real life since September so it was a lovely way to see each other but do something completely different together. We all used the make up in our own bags, (so no pressure to buy anything new) and Sian gave us a step by step demonstration on how to create our own ‘face.’ Undoubtedly we all learnt something new and I definitely now have more confidence on how to do a blended eye. So watch out. There may be some more colourful eye shadow posts on the way!! Have a swipe to see more of the results and the before. Products I used: Serum foundation & lipstick @bobbibrownuk Blush & lipliner @studio10makeup Eye shadow @toofacedlovestheuk Lip gloss @trinnylondon
So what to do when you can’t get to spring fast enough? Bring a touch of spring to your outfit! I’ve been quite colour averse for the last few months but when I saw this cardigan @moobou it screamed SPRING at me and so I treated myself! And, as a Brit, we need cardigans all. year. round! So I did check out what it looked like with my beloved shorts too. It passed the test! So come on spring, let’s be having you! I’m ready, my bulbs are ready and my cold bones are most definitely ready! Who else is ready? 🌷🌱🌷